“You want something. Go get it. Period”.

From whom are you seeking permission? Why do you feel, in the larger scheme of things, that other souls outrank yours, that you are not qualified to seek out your own ends and your own goals? Nobody can walk for you, breathe for you, think for you. You are the sole cause of the path your life takes, and the sole recipient of all ends brought about from walking said path. So if you want something, what are you waiting for? What is holding you back? Who is holding you back? Why do you feel the need to “clear things” with others, to ask permission?

My nickname from my father growing up was “the bulldog”, because I was tenacious in achieving my ends. Even when I was five years old, if I wanted something, I went out to get it, and nothing could stop me from moving towards it until I held it in my hands. Needless to say, this led to many a fight with my parents when I was a youth, as my “goals” weren’t exactly the most rational or well-thought-out! But I never understood the mentality that you should be stopped by “expectations”, by norms and etiquette and opinion. I never understood the mentality of taking somebody else’s judgment as superior to my own. And I still don’t.

If you want something, go get it, period. There’s really nothing else to it. Don’t let other people stop you. Don’t let yourself stop you. Don’t let “the difficulty of it all” stop you. Become a juggernaut of propulsion, an internal combustion engine hell-bent and determined. Crush it, destroy it, knock it down, and own it. Until it’s in your hands, and you can clutch your values close to your heart. Until then, it’s just some floating abstraction not tied to anything real.

About six month ago, a client of mine told me, “Dave, I’m really an all-or-nothing person– I either have to be 100% with my diet, or not follow it at all”. At first, I nodded and agreed, understanding the sentiment, as it’s one that I hear all the time. And then I stopped him– “Are you really?”, I asked. Honestly, everybody tells me that– that they are ‘all or nothing’. Yet I don’t see it that often in practice. If you commit to something, do you get it– consistently– every time– 100%– without fail– to the point of mania– to the point of depriving yourself of short-term worldly comforts if need be? Can you put the ephemeral on hold in exchange for the glory of the permanent? Isn’t that what “glory” is, after all?– the idea of something that lasts, something that will be around longer than 30 seconds, perhaps even longer than you inhabit this earth? Honor, glory, pride– antiquated concepts of centuries past, I know. Maybe it’s time for a return.

“He was a man who had never accepted the creed that others had the right to stop him. He set his goal and moved toward it.” (Atlas Shrugged) Or take this variation from The Ultimate Sales Machine by Chet Holmes: the number one skill required for success is “old-fashioned pigheaded discipline and determination”. Plug away, plug away, plug away. Don’t stop. Grind it out. And again. And again. You want something. Go get it. Period.

I know I’m supposed to be teaching my daughter to share, to “play nice”. I went to swim lessons with her several months back, when she was only 5 months old. I watched all of the other parents with their newborn infants, and watched the mentality they were cultivating. I watched the various children spot toys that they wanted, often toys held by other children, and make a move to take them. I watched the parents scold the children immediately– “Tommy, that’s rude! You have to share!” As if sharing is the moral ideal of all time. I watched these newborns consistently cower in fear and confusion. I watched them learn the principle that if one wants something, one should not go get it– for fear of offending, hurting somebody’s feelings, stepping on toes, rocking the boat, being different, making waves. Come up with whatever cliché you like, the principle is the same: I watched these poor young children become indoctrinated to the idea that they should hold themselves back.

Don’t ever hold yourself back. Seriously. Be an idiot. Be ridiculous. Push it to a level heretofore unseen. We’ve all heard the cheerful and pleasant saying “Dance like no one is watching”. I prefer the slightly more over-the-top version, “Drive it like you stole it”. And don’t ever look back to see the cops in the rearview mirror!

Author Alfred D. Souza wrote, “For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to still be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

At those same swim lessons, I watched Raven spy a toy duck that she wanted, and fight vigorously through the water to get it, with every ounce of joy and energy she contained within her being. It was her sole object of desire, her focus, her goal, her destination. I watched her interact with the other newborns, sometimes “rudely” grabbing their toys. And I let her. If you want something, go get it. Period. If it’s a problem, you’ll learn what it feels like to have another child slap your hand. But at least you’ll know from firsthand experience, without others cultivating a mindset of hesitation and self-doubt.

Take the damn toy, child. This world is yours, if you take it. Now go get it. Period.

-David A. Johnston